Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general
direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not
a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little
bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they
know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If
the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right
far piece." They also know
that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows
that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... And when
we're "in line" . We talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, yÕall is singular .... all yÕall is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't
want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30
MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own
way.
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff ... Bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, all yÕall need a sign to hang on yÕalls front porch that reads
"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
____
Bless your hearts ... yÕall have a blessed day.