The Release Today of Models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for
the North Carolina Market
Wake Forest Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Hecht's.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a
cookie-cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face-lift, greenhouse, and a
workaholic Ken.
Cary Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available
with the Lexus SUV or Chrysler minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
Optional matching gym outfit. Choose from Mormon or Catholic.
Tarboro Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9
mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and
tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.
Chapel Hill Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW
sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card, and shallow
Ken.
Fayetteville Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler
jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light,
and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick
Ken's butt when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag
bumperstickers.
Johnston County Barbie- comes in two models:
1) Lives in Glen Laurel; drives a Volvo or extra-large SUV; met
Ken in college and worked outside of the home until her first child was born;
only puts 50 miles on her vehicle/week -drives from school or camp and goes to
the grocery store; has hi-speed internet service and does all her shopping
on-line; just remodeled the basement with a new "media" room and had
a budget of only $40K with which to work.
2) lives in a trailer; didn't finish high school because she got
pregnant; killed Ken in a domestic dispute but was not convicted because it was
self-defense; drives Ken's old truck because she can't get credit at those BUY
HERE, PAY HERE car lots; works at either Wal-Mart (where she does ALL her
shopping) or Smithfield BBQ (uniform sold separately); has at least two kids by
at least two different Kens; has never heard of the internet.
Wilmington Barbie: This bleached Blonde speaks with a New York
Long island accent and drives her Mercedes convertible (sold separately)
through red lights while chattering away on her cell phone. She has never
worked outside the home. Her tennis trophies are displayed alongside Ken's golf
trophies. She wants real estate developer Ken to bulldoze sand dunes so she can
have a second home on Wrightsville Beach (development always improves beaches).
Ken is a member of the Wilmington 100 and her home in Landfall is featured in
Architectural Digest.
Her dirty little secret?? She's a closet Democrat.
Rocky Mount Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie
still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with
no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your
beer-gutted, hollow-gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip
liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings
that stick out the back of her jeans, a white, barely there, see-through shirt.
Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG.
Accessories include CD player equipped with Bon Jovi, rusty old
Ford pickup.
Raleigh Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in Saks
Fifth Avenue. She drives her Land Rover (sold separately). She has an MBA from
Duke but has never worked outside the home. Her child's stroller is bigger than
your house and her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf
trophies. She knows enough Spanish to talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to
the cook; and Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean, to talk with the gardener, house
painter, and housekeeper, respectively. She is a lifelong member of the Junior
League and her home is featured in Architectural Digest. Her dirty little
secret?? She's a closet Republican.
We are working on developing a "Durham Barbie," but she keeps
getting shot